quan·da·ry [kwon-duh-ree, -dree] –noun, plural -ries. a state of perplexity or uncertainty, esp. as to what to do; dilemma.
You know, I think it's more likely moms and not dads that get this feeling of guilt. I don't mean to be sexist about it, but I just don't run into many(any) men that feel this guilt. I feel quilty for being a full-time working mom and not staying at home with my kids. Now, don't take that the wrong way - I LOVE my job and will not and would not quit. I think it's important on many different levels. First and foremost, we really do need the income. Secondly, I need my sanity and work provides that to me for the most part. My kids are good kids and I don't think that they are deprived and/or depraved because they've been in daycare since the beginning. In fact, they are very well adjusted and I think they have received good care from daycare. And yet, the guilt is there - it's always there. Then on top of that guilt comes the guilt of ... having to leave work 'cuz one of the kids are sick, having to leave work 'cuz I'm sick, having to leave work to arrange a special ride for one of the kids ... etc... So then I start feeling guilty that I'm leaving work "hanging" - which I'm not. I never leave if I have a BIG project going on, or if there is something urgent to take care of. If I have to leave, I take my computer with me and work from home or from wherever I'm at. But sure enough, I'll have to leave early again and I just feel like utter crap to even ask to leave. I'll work from home late that night or even over the weekend. My bosses are not giving me this feeling of guilt, they are very nice about it - "family first" they all say. I just wonder sometimes if they really believe it. Plus, how does it look to the other employees - am I getting "special" treatment for being a mom? AUGH. I know I'm rambling a bit here, but I'm trying to get it all out and I'm just going all over the place with it. So anyway, I'll leave it at that for now... hope you're having a great day.
8 comments:
I wish I had something profound to say, but I don't.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm thinking good thoughts for you.....
T.
Kel - I so know how you feel! But, all I can say is that as long as you don't abuse it - then no one should give a care. It's your business - not theirs!
They work only 8 hours of the day - we work 24 hours. Our REAL job starts at 5!
I hear ya! Just keep on keepin' on...
I know...let's start a support group and we can all share the hardships of being a woman...oh, but wait, i forgot...i don't give a shit
FD
Hi Fuddy! You're such a fu#@er! I miss you guys!
I still think it will pass in 3-5 days...lol!!!
Ugh, I can only imagine how much more complicated it is working outside the home. You're right -we're both feelin' it! Good luck, huh?
:)
Oops - I commented through my google account instead of blogger so I came up as Leilani instead of Lei.
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